Comparing yourself to others is a habit I see on a regular basis. What does it bring? Often it brings lots of suffering. We human beings are individuals. I never found persons who are exactly the same. Even identical twins are not the same. Sometimes we want to reach similar goals, but we forget that the ingredients are different and so will be the result.
Sisterhood of motherhood
In my family I am the youngest of four, two older sisters and one older brother. The three girls have been pregnant at the same time last year. Before I got pregnant I thought that was the perfect dream: three sisters being pregnant at the same time. That must be fun! Reality turned out to be different.
Three babies in a row
From the moment the babies are born differences in the approach how to raise children became clear. I choose breastmilk, they choose formula. I choose not to immunize, they choose immunizations. I choose most of the time finger foods, they choose baby puree. As you can see, only by being able to list the differences is the proof that I compared myself to my sisters. The result was that the relationship got close to 0. What happened to the lovely relationship we used to have?
Need to talk
The other day my oldest sister came over to ‘talk’. That moment I realized that I was judging the way she was raising her kids and that I created the feeling that I was judged by her on how I raise my boy. My thoughts did not give me the nice family relationship that I wanted. To re-establih a good sister-sister relationship I realized I needed to change. I needed to stop comparing myself.
Benefit
I stopped comparing myself. Being without comparison means there is no need for judgement anymore. And being freed of judgment creates space to focus on the nice things of being in a sister- sister relationship we both enjoy.
Being freed of comparison to others; another leason given to me thanks to my little teacher.
ACTION STEPS
- check whether or not you compare yourself to others;
- if you do so, then just stop it!
If you want more practical tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others check this out.